THATS NOT MY KNEE

Verse 1
Just because she cannot find a crimpolene tortoise
And when she looks down and realises she is the
Victim of time's voluptuous escarpment-like things...
A woman will often say,
"That's not my knee" (that is someone else's knee)

Verse 2
And when, in the midst of a bell pulling session
And caught on camera with his smock a little too high
Knowing he will incur the wrath of the Elders for having very bad habits,
The novice, the junior and even the very high ranking monk
Will swear to God,
"That's not my knee",
"And I wasn't pulling the bell too high"
(That's not my knee)
BUT LOOK - that knee is knobbly...

Cloisters scene:-
Q: "Do you, Brother Marcus have knobbly knees?"
A: "No ee do not" [in strange accent]
(2nd monk) "It's a woman!"
A: "Ee am not a woman"
(2nd monk) "He is a woman - that monk is a woman!"
A: "Ee am not a woman and me knee are not knobbly"
Brother Marcus was found not guilty of possessing
knobbly knees and not guilty of being a woman
and he was able to polish his cloisters in peace once more

Verse 3
Given that the knee is a geniculate joint
Those dumb Narwals refused to have them
When God was Creating creation
So now they are confined to the freezing waters
Of the Arctic & must survive on Granny Arbroath's
Kippers and ice cream

What fools!
What dumb kind of species would refuse a knee?
Why - I have seventy two!
That's one knee for each day
Of the Arbroathian calendar